Sometimes, something good comes out from something bad. I was feeling so weak a few weeks ago, such that I actually let go of and forgot about whatever ill feelings I had about someone. It simply didn’t make sense to waste whatever little energy I had, and so the grudge magically disappeared. I figured it’s because I just got too busy and too weak to even care.
It is unfortunate, though, that I now have regained my strength, enough to think things through and question things once again. I like this new-found peace, and would love to hold on to it as long as I could, but now I’m finding it hard to do. Maybe it’s just prejudice; maybe bigotry; maybe the grudge wasn’t forgotten totally. And also, maybe it’s my tendency to take offense whenever I sense arrogance and self-righteousness, be they real or just imagined by me.
I understand why some people would rather not celebrate Christmas extravagantly, considering the many victims of typhoon Reming who have yet to rebuild their lives (I feel the same way, too — but then, come to think of it, who hasn’t thought of that?). But to hear a rather self-centered person (in my personal opinion, but others may think differently. How many those others are, though, I couldn’t tell) lecture in a rather self-righteous manner (again, this could just be an opinion of prejudiced me) about why everybody should forego being merry in this time of crisis is simply mind-boggling (if not nerve-grating) to me. I think I would rather hear it said that there is too little time left or that they simply do not have enough energy or interest to prepare for an institutional party which is actually an obligation that is passed on to different groups yearly. I think I would rather hear that suggestion said by colleagues who have relatives and friends in the affected communities; by someone who is childish but who also has good, childlike qualities; by someone who seems unaffected by his/her being rich and who really has a soft heart for other people; by someone who seems to be tough outside but is actually soft in the core; or, in any case, by anyone else who has credibility. But for the life of me, I just couldn’t bring myself to believe a single word from that person who seems to be oblivious to the millions of people who are living miserable lives everyday, with or without typhoons, as that person talks (brags?) everyday about shopping, name brands and other “I, Me and Myself” things loud enough for everybody to (there’s simply no choice) hear. Which gets me thinking, again, how come I don’t hear the really rich ones who live in rich areas obsess about those things? A clue! A clue! Now get the thinking pad and sit on the thinking chair!
Do I hear someone say that this is a democratic country? But someone also said that the rights of a person in a democracy end when the rights of other people start to get violated. There are some things about each of us that only close, real friends would appreciate to discuss or listen to. Besides, “depth”, “relevance” and “fun” are relative concepts, so please be considerate to others who define those words differently. You have freedom to talk so long as you don’t trespass my freedom to choose not to hear things I’m not interested in. At least give me a choice, is all I’m asking. And by the way, I think I know true compassion when I see/hear it. Again, this could just be prejudice, but, please. Not from that person. Not yet. Let me keep this new sense of peace, stop tempting sinner me.
Mercy, mercy me…
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*****
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Artist: Gaye Marvin
Song: Mercy Mercy Me
Oh, mercy mercy me
Oh, things ain’t what they used to be
No, no
Where did all the blue sky go?
Poison is the wind that blows
From the north, east, south, and sea
Oh, mercy mercy me
Oh, things ain’t what they used to be
No, no
Oil wasted on the oceans and upon our seas
Fish full of mercury
Oh, mercy mercy me
Oh, things ain’t what they used to be
No, no
Radiation in the ground and in the sky
Animals and birds who live nearby are dying
Oh, mercy mercy me
Oh, things ain’t what they used to be
What about this overcrowded land?
How much more abuse from man can you stand?
My sweet Lord
My sweet Lord
My sweet Lord
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