Lo Siento, No Sé.

       
    Deep inside I was
crying, cursing and blaming myself for putting myself in that
predicament. I longed for the comfort of my bed and imagined how
simpler my life would have been if I had chosen to stay home that
evening. I had always known that I am at my worst whenever I lack
some sleep but still, I joined a climb even when I’ve had only four
hours of sleep and no preparatory exercise at all. So there I was,
trying to propel myself and my backpack up vertically (it was a steep
climb) and feeling the almost tangible pull of gravity with every
step. Whatever small amount of energy I had was slowly draining away.
I was also feeling bad for slowing the group down so I had been
dropping hints that I could just stop to spend the night where I was
and wait for them when they came down the mountain the next morning,
but our patrol leader would have none of it and kept on motivating me
to reach the top.

             To ease my suffering a
bit, I decided to leave a bottle of water (1 liter) behind, but the
leader learned about it and put the bottle in his backpack instead,
which made me feel guilty for making his load heavier (Good thing I
forgot about and lost my cardigan somewhere along the trail: it would
have made his backpack a lot bulkier!). After a while I decided to
get rid of some more weight but knowing that it will again be
absorbed by the leader, I just sneaked a box of brownies out of my
backpack and left it by the trail. A few meters up, we decided that
it would be a lot better for me if I changed my pants into shorts. I
was then going to leave my folded jeans but the leader again made
space for it in his backpack, so I put it in mine instead and
pretended that I didn’t mind the added weight. But when we resumed
the trek, the jeans disappeared the way the brownies did. We kept our
pace and stopped for 2-5 minutes once in a while. We encountered some
mountaineers along the way who jokingly told us, “Malapit na,
walking distance na lang!” And that was how I survived the night
trek, walking on all fours (which, because of the steep inclination,
wasn’t so obvious – I hope) to distribute the weight of my
already light (relative to its original weight) load, making my
companions’ strength my inspiration while thinking of how easier
the climb could have been for me if only I had prepared myself for
it, and assuring myself that, “malapit na, walking distance na
lang”.      

         
    When we got to the top,
I found out that it took the morning batch 3 hours, while it took us
only 1 ½ hours, to get there. I would have wanted to strangle
our patrol leader then, but he explained that he wanted us to keep a
steady pace because he didn’t want the night chill to creep up on
us which could lead to bigger problems, and that got him off the
hook. And the torturous climb was worth it, anyway. Although there
were a lot of people there, Mt. Maculot being a
popular climb for beginners, the magic of being on top of the
mountain was still present. The starry sky and howling winds at
night, the chilly air, the climb up the Rockies, the sight of mists
rising from the ocean below and forming into clouds (I didn’t know
that evaporation could happen that fast, that visible and at a
temperature that low!), the feel of rain clouds enveloping and
passing you by, the wonderful view, and the feeling of having
conquered your fears and weaknesses were very, very rewarding!

This trek reminded me of
some important pointers that we need as we go through life:

• Get
  enough sleep and exercise.

• Plan
  ahead.

• But
  sometimes spontaneous decision-making is good, too, because it gets
  you doing things that you would have been scared to do if you had
  given it much thought.

• Sometimes
  you might feel like giving up, but if you push yourself some more,
  you’d be surprised at how far you can still go.

• The
  more you think of what would/could have been, the longer it will
  take you to move forward.

• It
  is better if you stop once in a while to enjoy the view.

• Travel
  light. Get rid of unnecessary baggage.

• It
  is okay to let someone else carry some of your baggage; just make
  sure you feed him well (according to our patrol leader when he
  learned about the things that I left behind).

• When
  we went down the mountain, we found my jeans, brownie box (already
  empty) and cardigan, each neatly hung near the benches of stopovers.
  Learn to let go. If it is really yours/meant for you, you’ll get
  it back.

• Have
  faith in the kindness of strangers.

• The
  journey may be long and torturous sometimes, but if you keep focused
  and persevere, you’ll finally get to the destination you are
  aiming for; and when you do, it will be very rewarding.

• Three
  hours, one and a half — what’s the difference? Walking distance
  lang lahat ‘yan!